The Person You call Pastor

Hello Dear Friend,

This is the person you call "Pastor" writing.

I have to write although I am not really sure I want to or that you even want me to. Although its online and on this blog why does it feel so much like a "Dear John" letter? Perhaps in some ways it is meant to be just that. A letter saying that its not working out between us and there must be a split. We gotta let each other go.

Perhaps though the reality is that its not letting each other go but letting our misguided and even ungodly expectations of one another go. Yes. I think that's it. Its our image of one another thats not based in reality that we have to let go and say "Good-bye" to.

I know you have great expectations of me. I need to preach like Paul. I need to have a heart like John. I need to counsel you and balance the budget at the same time. I need to build God's house like Solomon. I have to meet everyone's needs from the oldest to the youngest. Instead of equipping you for service I must meet your needs and the needs of everyone else in our assembly in addition to reaching out and befriending the lost. I need to care for the old, baptize the young, minister to those who are widowed, divorced, confused. I must chaplain the grandmothers, pastor the flock, and lead the visionaries.

How can I possibly do it all?

Its been said with a great deal of truth that there are three kinds of pastors. There is the Caretaker...the Risktaker...and the Undertaker.

The Caretaker takes care. He is there for you always and wont let you down. He will hold your hand. Then you have the Undertaker. He digs graves. He makes sure everything is ready for burial. Then you have the Risktaker. He steps out in faith and leads the assembly into a God-given vision that propels them into the future and insures the health of the church and the spontaneous growth of the Kingdom.

The Risktaker leads. Dear soul..which one do you think I am? Which one do you think I want to be?

The Kingdom must go on. The Church must fulfill its mission. If that means that I am cut off from the very people of God for the sake of the Kingdom and the glory of the name then so be it. If that means that I must neglect some in order to cultivate a healthy church...then I must fulfill my Kingdom mandate. I am sorry I cannot be what you want me to be. I cant be a Caretaker, a Risktaker, and an Undertaker all at once. I am limited. I have a hard time multitasking. I am so inefficient. I need the Lord so much to help me do what little I can do. I cant meet your needs even though my heart bleeds for you and I love you dearly.

You see the King and His kingdom means more to me than anything else. My concern is pleasing Him. Only Him.

But the good news is that even though I, the person you call "Pastor" cannot meet your needs there is ONE who can. He is the real "Pastor", the Great Shepherd, the Overseer of your soul. He can minister and heal all your wounds.(and you do have them still) He knows the rejection you wear on your sleeve. He sees the low self-esteem. He knows your fear. Your loneliness, your inner turmoil. He knows the pain in your soul.

And although I cannot meet your needs I can point you to Him. I can guide you in His direction so that he can heal you. I can take you to Him. I can introduce you to Jesus. You see Jesus is the One you are looking for.

Please don't blame me that I am not Him. There is only One...

So I have to say good-bye. Good-bye to the needs you have that I cannot fill as I point you to Him. Good-bye to the false expectations you have of me that I am not gifted to meet. Good-bye to the image of "Pastor" that only the great Shepherd of Heaven and Earth holds in His self...the image of God.

But by saying good-bye we can also say hello. Hello to the King...hello to the Kingdom. Hello to whatever it takes to become mature in Him and stop relying on man to meet our needs. Hello to the blessed reality the scriptures call "The Way".

Good-bye to therapy...hello to Theology.

Oh alright. I can be the Caretaker for a little while. Not always...not too long...or I will burn out. I cant be the Undertaker at all. Not even for a second. Because that is not my mission.

My role is the Risktaker. Taking risks for the King and His kingdom which are really no risks at all.

Will you risk it all with me?

""Seek first the Kingdom of God"" says Jesus the Pastor, the GREAT PASTOR, THE REAL PASTOR of us all!

Taiwan Dreams

Since coming to Portland in Spring of this year and moving my family here I have to be candid and admit I have experienced "Dark Nights" of the soul on repeated occasions. It has been difficult dealing with re-entry culture shock for me and there are times when I miss Taiwan terribly. The sights, the smells, the way I lived my life for ten years is gone now. Was it all for nothing?

My memories of Taiwan are vivid and rich in my mind. How nice it was to live in a country where old people are still respected along with teachers and spiritual leaders. Here in the States I pastor a church but the respect from non-Christians and even Christians (sometimes!) is less than how the "pagan" Taiwanese treated me. Not that I crave this attention or anything like that. I am simply pointing out an observation between two wonderful cultures. Both the American and Taiwanese cultures have positives and negatives and I don't want to be read with the misunderstanding that I am playing one culture over against another.

Aaahhhh but I do miss it. Taipei with its 101 Building. The best Kung Pao Chicken to be had is in Taiwan although I have to admit Kuala Lumpor in Malaysia and Singapore run tight races on the Kung Pao.

Pastoring in Taiwan was very different as well. It seemed much easier in some ways. The very Biblical and foundational idea of mission and the church as "being on mission" was inherent within us. There was no questions as to why the church existed. We were an army called out by God to penetrate the darkness and proclaim Gods kingdom reign.

Here in the USA many church lack a valid identity now days and are going through a reassessment as to why they exist, who they are and so on. With the massive restructuring of culture in Western society the Church has lost its privileged position and now must ask, "Who am I". I encourage a deep and long, penetrating look into scripture, particularly the book of Acts to discover the answer to this
question.

But back to Taiwan and Asia. I regularly visited and stayed in places that we read about in books or watch on the silver screen. How I love Singapore! Malaysia is paradise!

I hope one day to get back to this part of the world. Perhaps I can "retire" there although John Piper will have none of it. Retirement is not in the Bible and I certainly wont be picking up seashells on the seashore! Rather I would be training and equipping, teaching in Bible colleges and churches.

Someday. One day.

Or..perhaps...heaven will be a lot like Asia and the Kung Pao Chicken will be the best I have ever had!

Thank you God for ten years in wonderland.